Call me irresponsible...

But my Frank Sinatra station on Pandora is seriously the best ever.

passion

creeps in once again...

This time in the form of a Nikon D5100. I'm an absolute amateur - but I love it. Everything about photography is exciting me right now. And I'm running out of friends to model.

But I do have beautiful friends, so it's a good place to start. After all, "never despise the day of small beginnings." :)

This is Mallory, my little brother's delightful girlfriend.

Below is Jillian, my lifelong friend. She is such a happy part of my life.


These are pictures of my soon-to-be-goddaughter! I spent New Years with my best friend, Mrs. Tristan Lawler and her lovely husband. San Antonio is beautiful! And so is she!


I can't wait to meet her!


I've been taking pictures of absolutely everything around me. These are a few I liked. :)

That's it for now. I can't wait to see what this year holds - and I can't wait to capture it all.

Also, I'm going to learn to play the ukulele.

Tonight, I'm thankful for friends, music, and passion that gives way to hope.

I'm stealing

these thoughts from my best friend Tristan Jewel Lawler. Talented beyond reason, she is a writer, dancer, Scentsy consultant, avid reader, knitter, expert on all things male-related, wine connoisseur in training, and I'm not even scratching the surface...
Her poetry is unique, and this one she wrote a while ago just touches my heartstrings. So tonight, these are the words on my heart (although she technically wrote them- I know she won't mind if I share.)

My beloved

I want to know you

I want to feel how I’m going to feel

When I know you love me too

When we decide to make a life together

I want you to know that all I want is to make you happy

From how we wake up together

To how we raise our beautiful children

We will make it

I know when we say our vows that they will be forever

Find me

I’m ready for you to be a part of my life

Get to know me

And love me for my faults

Love me for my family

Let me become a part of your family

Kiss me goodnight

And I will take care of you every moment

Choose me

I promise it will be worth it

We will know each other

and respect one another

I can’t wait to grow with you

Lets figure this out

Until we fall in love,

Yours,

Rae

(Via Mrs Lawler)

I figured since she has her beloved now, she won't mind sharing this wish.
Tonight I'm thankful for the rain, despite that its coming with a lot more hail than necessary. I'd better get ready for the storm. I'm also thankful for Jesus loving me as much as He does. I'm thankful for Serena Joy. <3 And so much more!


Bye ya'al!

Baby Will You Dance With Me

One day...

I'd like to be in love.
And then I'd like to dance.


:)

my big girl job

starts tomorrow.
i'm excited. but also so very nervous.
i'm afraid of failure.

but i trust God in me.

i met my mom's new man today. he is the most wonderful thing that has happened to our little family. it felt like a real family tonight having him there. he balances us all out. and i'm so grateful to God for putting him in our lives.

i miss my serena joy so much already! it was ah-mazing (haha) seeing her this weekend. we had far too much fun. definitely some lifetime memories.
and tristan! i haven't seen her in WAY too long. we had a marvelous night with friends and partied the night away. felt like old roommate times again.

i'm thankful. and happy. and sleepy.

two more sleeps...

... and then i get to see my best friends and be in the beautiful mountains of Arkansas again. :)

These days the sun is shining brighter and the Memphis humidity brings with it the need for anti-frizz hair creme and a new [zebra striped] swimsuit. I don't care what people say... Screw Christmas- THIS is the most wonderful time of the year!

I am enjoying what feels like the calm before the storm. It's been made clear that things are once again about to change, decisions have to be made, and once more I'm questioning God for wisdom and direction. Isn't that the never-ending story of my life. "Where am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to be doing? Is this right? Is that right? God, are you listening?" Yeah. Seems like every six months we have this same one-sided conversation.

Moving to Memphis in December was right. It has been a good thing, but it seems like just as I've gotten settled and I have peace in my heart, a foundation log has slipped out from underneath me and things are about to start faltering. I know this means I have to find my own way now. But if I'm destined to be a tumbleweed, I'd prefer to know the direction of the wind. And if I'm meant to be rooted, I'd like a prettier garden. Ocean views would be preferable, God.

Oh, and I had totally forgotten what sin consciousness was, until we went to church this morning. Apparently God doesn't like sinners?? Ha.

Too much thinking.

I wrote a song for my Serena Joy tonight. I like it. :) I want to record, damnit.

I'm thankful for this beautiful weekend, great beer, and amazing friends. I'm thankful that my Jesus loves me beyond measure, and that His heart is full of wonderful thoughts for me. Thankful that He is making my way straight and guiding my ever-questioning heart.
I'm thankful for sleep.

*yawn*

day to day...

eat.pray.love. i'm totally doing that. but on the inside. india, italy, and bali aren't physically possible for me, but i'm going to begin enjoying life more.

it feels as if i am doing what i've heard referred to as "living in the moment." i am learning to be content in the present. i am learning to be happy again. so, in this day-to-day journey, here is my today:

being lazy: today i watched the A&E pride and prejudice series... again. (yes, the 6 hour one where colin firth makes the most delicious mr.darcy...*sigh*) unfortunately, i've gotten to the place where i know the entire dialog before it happens and i've started saying their lines for them. note to self: find a new favorite classical period film.

being crafty: today i made a beanie, and it worked! i'm rather stoked about this fact, because so far the only beanies i've successfully knitted/crocheted have been tiny human sized. the first one i knitted, i had very high hopes for... and it could easily be mistaken for a crumpled up sock. since then ive been practicing gauge, to very little success until today. although my child-sized beanies are adorable, i can't seem to get an adult sized one right. last night i attempted yet again. somehow i got all the way to the end, after following the knitting pattern perfectly, and still my result was nothing more than a crumpled sock. so i pulled it all out and began to crochet it instead. (crocheting is my first language in the world of yarn and needle fun, so i feel much more deft with one hookey-needle instead of two large pointy ones.) i ended up pulling that out again this morning and beginning - yet again. finally i somehow achieved success! i'm so proud, in fact, of my little "red puff-slouch beanie" that i wore it to the gym tonight. :)

being disciplined: hello gym! hello elliptical machine! and hello all other new-years-resolutioners! there is a severe lack of gorgeous man muscle at the gym these days. not that i'm in the market, but having a nice view certainly gets one motivated to pump up the resistance. (don't worry- my little red puff-slouch beanie was at home in the locker. lol.) anyway, an hour of elliptical, 15 minutes of leg work outs, 20 minutes of sauna, and a nice hot shower have left me quite proud of my day's productivity. armed with enough endorphins to last till morning, i am now rather happy and ready for bed!

so goodnight world. i'm hopeful for tomorrow...